We Don't Go Into The Sewers
by ValiasGryphon
Summary: There's a reason both teams don't go down into those filthy, tainted pipes... Bad things can happen. Especially if you're a spy. first TF2 fic, 1st person, one-shot


**Disclaimers: I do not own Team Fortress 2 or any of it's characters. They belong to Valve.**

**Rated T for mild swearing, blood and of course, TF moment.**

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I should of paid attention to those warnings.

As par usual, my arrogance and overzealous nature had gotten the best of me. Maybe it was fated this way? Ah, how ... what was that term? Karma... oui. How Karma 'as the wonderful way of coming back at you for all the things you've done. Maybe if was meant to be, me down here where I am now. In fact I'm starting to get use to the scent of garbage and well... any sort of body parts strewn about. At least the supply won't run out. But enough about now. What's happened has happened and I doubt things will be resolved the longer I stand in this muck.

My story begins as plainly as most in this desert place. New recruit to pick up where my predecessor left off... with a bang I might add. I preferred the cover of night over day, hence my team's displeasure to my arrival at night when a battle had finished up, thankfully no more causalities or I might have to pack my bags and turn around. The BLU were a motley crew of sorts. Untrustworthy to say the least. Dark stares and sneers. I 'appose it came with the job. Friendships amongst teammates meant you'd have to face with dealing with the fact someone will be dead and replaced. I didn't mind that cold shoulder section from the team. I was only there for my uses, nothing more. At least I had planned to live longer than four months than my previous... oh and a little FYI.. I am the Spy.

Being at the fortress between the rowdy BLUs and pestering REDs across the covered bridge, I found it odd there was no fights on the weekends. Company policies on both sides I had been told. Well it gave me the chance to test out my skills and supplements. I was told a few things by our Medic, who seemed to take it upon himself to show me around since no one else seemed to care to do so, a few strict rules to follow. We don't cross the bridge after ceasefire when numbers are counted for nor do we cross it during the weekends. Taunt the other side all we wish but the moment you crossed passed the center of the bridge, none of the team mates would rescue you. Simple enough, I figured these were temporary rules until the company policy sought fit. So long as I was paid and did my job accordingly, petty rules were easy to follow... if you couldn't see me. I smirked to Medic as we stood by the bridge under the baking sun when I had gotten a whiff of that pungent odor from below that had to be only one thing: the sewers. Deciding to clean my sense of smell of the odors of rot and decay, I turned to return to our base before a stiff gloved hand snatched my thin shoulder. Glancing over it, the Medic's face turned into a iron and brimstone look I shall never forget. "We do not enter ze sewers...evar."

Blinking I return to starring at my comrade. "Say that again?" I dared ask, after all there was nothing better than annoy the 'good' doctor. Though, I doubt there ever really was any good in that crazed body of his. But his stance was still serious, still solid. "You heard me Spah! At least the last von was smart enough to stay avay!" He warned, the reflection of light off his tiny spectacles gave off a eerie glow... perhaps a flicker of insanity? "Do I dare ask 'Why', s'il vous plaît?" I replied, already the heat of the desert sun working it's way under my mask making my brow sweat uncomfortably. The German huffed, rolled his eyes as if I didn't know, well of course I didn't know. "Due to our latest battles, ze sewers are forbidden due to high amounts of toxins in ze water! No one is allowed down there, just getting vet could be... fatal." He explained, grinning at the end with a almost too happy glee on his face. "Understood... so yer saying no one's been daff'd to clean the damn place!? Oi! Someone should hire a cleaners then!" I complained before turning to stroll back into the shade and cool of our base. Medic spoke nothing else the rest of the day, though I felt that devilish grin at my back the whole way inside.

Days pasted, battled fought. A mixed results I'm afraid. Our intel captured, theirs we've taken. A tug of war in a way. To many ties to my favor. Too many ceasefires. It was after one of these early ceasefires that I found myself in one of Sniper's roosts. A shabby shack of sorts, with various... things strung about. But it was a quiet place to sit back and watch the sun set as I lit a cigarette. No worries from a enemy sniper coming for my head... He should be in the morgue by now with a pretty hole in his back, aimed with care to the heart. I might be a killer, but I was at least humane to say the least. Unlike some of my teammates who took delight in torturing the losers to death, I had some decency to end a life quickly, though never guaranteed painless. A slit throat was always good, but alas... blood always found its way onto my linen suits and I'd be damned if another splat hits me again! So it was in this roost that I was discovered by Sniper who was up there for an 'early bird's special' as he put it. Camp out the night and by the first light and battle cry's rung... take his aim on his target.

"A bit boring to my taste. Too much waiting, not enough combat." I complained as we conversed, though this Sniper in particular seemed more than thrilled to have SOMEONE... anyone actually sit down and talk man to man. "Nah... you're just a wittle impatient, that's all!" He reassured, offering me a cup of coffee. Cold from sitting out all day of 'hunting' as he point it, but it was good... after depositing two cubes of sugar. "You get some and you miss some. Just how it goes 'round here mate. Tis all a game basically. Like back out in me old bush, eat or be eaten. Something like that." He said. I shrugged, perhaps I was too 'city-boy' for them as our Scout described me time and time again. Shame he's... how do you say... out of commission. Not dead... but a Scout with both broken knees after having an enemy Engineer smack them in with a wrench wasn't exactly helping. Not when the blasted runt was able to get RED's intel faster than the others. "So... Medic's warned me about the sewers. Shame... would be perfect for someone like me to sneak into their base and steal their intel." I mentioned, sipping my coffee.

And then Sniper grew silent and stared off into the star-lit sky. Was the subject THAT touchy? "It use to be. Meddy's nevar told ja bout it being nasty as a croc's bathtub did he?" He asked after a long moment of silence. "Well, maybe not that well described, but all I know is the water is toxic and forbidden to enter. Even the REDs have the same rules about it. Do you know why?" I asked, finishing off a cigarette, I always had more to spare. "You wanna hear something... then trust when I says you best keep a foot outta thar if ya know what's best." He warned, to cryptic for my taste. I was a back-stabber, not a code breaker. "A little more background monsieur Sniper. If you please." I was tired of these ridiculous riddles from my own team about the sewers. Sniper groaned out, before removing his sunglasses which I found to be redundant for wearing at night. His eyes were that of someone who's spent too much time fighting with no rest mental rest. "They say the place was overused alot. Back before I came 'ere. Durin' the summa months they'd fight in the sewers because it was cooler, didn't worry bout heat stroke. Well... the battles got too much for those old pipes to handle. Eventually it wasn't just leaf litter floatin' in thar passageways. Too many bodies, no one dared claimed. Most were just an arm or maybe a torso. But no one wanted to clean the place up as ya would have above ground. So the fights continued in thar. And the rot just got worst mate. By the time I got 'ere, the sewers were clogged full of body parts, various sentry machines sapped or just blown up. Because no one bothered to get down there and clean, it became nothing more than a dump pool. Both sides waiting for the other to claim dead probably long since rotted away. That was two years ago.. Last person who went in those pipes... was our last Spy before we got tired of waitin' and order up a new one... Course he was a wanker of a spy so when he stepped on a Demoman's mine... I was glad to be rid of him."

Listening to Sniper's tale of what appeared to be greed and arrogance, seeking shelter from a hot sun and refusing to pick up dead... the sewers which I could of used time and time again instead of the damn bridge, hiding behind a lumbering Heavy before sneaking my way in for Intel... were useless. It sickened me. It was something that dwells on the back of my mind time and time again, while I sapped a dispenser.. or disguised as the enemy's medic and punched in my knife's mark on those otherwise unmarred backs... carrying out intel when I managed to snatch it only to be force to pass it to a stronger teammate to save my skin from gunfire. I hated it.

Months clocked by, I almost lost track had it not been for a seasonal change. Our Scout never regained running function in his legs, the knees having healed incorrectly since our Medic was not interested in saving the runt's worth. He was forced with a limp, and I watched every morning as he painfully came down from the private quarters to get some sort of breakfast, using a rigged crouch from our Engineer to help him walk. I had often heard talks from older teammates to end his suffering, as he was about as worthless as those damn sewers now. A lamed Scout was a worthless Scout. But he didn't want to quit, far too much willpower to go on. Always saying his mother would come and take him out of the war. Oh how wrong was he....

As I've said, I don't keep friendships in this war of sorts... but the runt was starting to grow on me. But on this Autumn evening... I stood in back with him. For anyone out there with a softer heart than a rotten apple... nothing was more painful to watch than a limping scout trying so hard to try to fire a shotgun with one hand. So I stayed with him, defending him I suppose. He never gave me thanks for it, but his expressions seemed to state such. The boy really did try not to cry from the pain in his knees, swelled from healing wrong and discomfort. As we heard the approach of a pyro, I pulled out my revolver. "Stay 'ere lad!" I stated, before he could protest, I ran off... serving as bait for that nasty arsonist so that boy could stay alive to ceasefire... but no pyro came for me even after I fired a few rounds in the air like the idiot I was.

I halted, turning around to go back... It wasn't the way I was expecting. I heard his screams, a plea of mercy. Arriving to the scene, it was the RED's spy, taunting the crippled lad after snatching away his gun, making Scout defenseless. A discarded BLU Pyro mask laid on the ground at RED's feet and I glared. "Taunting a handicapped are we?" I sneered, pulling out my knife. "I'm going to gut you like a cornish game hen!" He turned around, snickering at my threats, allowing Scout to try to hobble away. I could tell on the look of that spy's face... he has been here a while... a long while. "Oh, so sorry, I thought it was a free for all!" He grinned, pulling out his gun. "Merde..." I cursed, me bringing a knife to a gun fight. I heard the shots fired... luckily missed me by a hair. I turned to flee... he right at my heels. Somehow I found myself outside, amongst the gunfire and smoke. I should of cloaked myself, like any smart.. and seasoned spy would do. But no... I wasn't thinking that. All my mind was stating was to run. Maybe running would alert a team mate I was in trouble... for once. Unfortunately for me, I had run into the covered bridge, reaching to mid point when I was blocked by both Heavies too busy playing Punch Out with each other. The other Spy smirked as he calmly approached, revolver still aimed at my chest. Where was Sniper of all places!? Why didn't he get that spy!? The answer was something I never got till much later. "Adieu, incompetent!" He snickered, pulling the trigger.

And suddenly I felt being pushed, my body falling over the railing for the toxic water below.

It took a second before the fall to realize... Scout somehow had painfully limped all the way, and pushed me out of the way of the bullet. We both fell down into that water... which shockingly enough was cool and deep, not hot or burning as I had expected to. We reached for the surface, Scout unmoving in my arms as I swam for our base's sewer entrance. What mostly floated was garbage, if there was any bodies from yester-year, they had long since deteriorated away to nothing. So they were wrong... the sewers were not that toxic as they had claimed it to be. But the sewers were the least of my concerns. The clear dark waters somehow were gaining a color and denying all I wished then... I knew it to be true. Scout took the bullet to the back for me. Yet he was still clinging to life that was fading fast, painfully I might add. Crimson dribbled from the corner of his lips, ah his lung must of been punctured. I held him him my arms, he gasping for air. "Why... did you do that?" I asked, unsure for the first time how to end his suffering. He managed to look up at me and grinned weakly. "Heh..Hey. Someone gave a damn about a runt like me... even with broken legs. You... were never given a .... proper welcome. So... Welcome to BLU Team... Heh..." He spoke out weakly. "Ss...sorry I couldn't of... been more useful." I shook my head. "No... you were. I apologize for keeping to myself mostly all this time." I apologized quickly, seeing as time was ticking by. "Don't bother... It's a... Spy thing. Thanks..." He replied, gasping in deeply. "You're... gonna be deducted points for it but... Take away the pain for me..." I frowned, nodding. Oh how I hated to get that marked on file for being a team mate killer... but this was justified. Seeing how I was sobbing wet anyways, I pulled out my blade... laying it on Scout's throat... he nodding one last time to reassure me... And so my arm retracted quickly. I heard one last garbled gasp.

Then... there was silence.

That night, I returned to base, dried off, but none the better feeling as I carried my comrade's crumbled body for Medic to tag, bag, and store away in his eerie wall of bodies. " 'E'll be replaced... They all do." Medic sighed out. I cringed a bit at those words. Obviously this Medic has stayed alive as long as he has because he was bluntly insane. "Where's Sniper?" I questioned. "Oh he's alive if zat's what you vant to know! Tsk... he won't be much use for a long vhile." He pointed a pen towards one of closed off medical beds by curtain. Refusing to ask, I went to see for myself. There I would find Sniper in that hospital bed, his breath raspy as he slept. Bandages covering most of his body and what wasn't covered I could see past those blood stains he was burned severely. So he couldn't save me because of the RED's pyro. Well... he'll be next on the stab list. I turned to leave, seeing as the Aussie seemed well in sleep to ease any pain. "You fell in... didn't you?" I paused... so maybe he wasn't asleep. "Uh.... Oui?" I answered. One eye opened to look up at me. "So... is it cleaned finally? Because I can smell your suit and it smells of garbage." He chuckled lightly before coughing. "Yes garbage! What else was in 'ere!? I saw no bodies unclaimed, it wasn't like what everyone has been stating over and over! Just a typical sewer." I stated, angered slightly. "Good... we can use it again soon. Doc's says I'm stuck in bed for at least a good six months. I can wait.... so can they. That's how long it took for their last sniper to get here before bloody getting himself in the line of a sentry." He whispered, obviously weakened greatly. "I suppose I should shower. You should rest Sniper... those burns are nasty." "I've had worse. Just another something I won't be worryin' mah parents with when I write back." I shrugged, ending the conversation.

After a good shower and a clean, pressed suit with new gear, it wasn't long before I was back in the battlefield. Even with a lack of teammates, we managed to win out most of the battles. A week had passed and the death of Scout was all to fresh in my mind. I tried letting go but somehow I had... grown attached to him. That wasn't part of my job. Pity wasn't part of my job here but somehow it managed to weasel it's way into me. I even as so much as pestered Medic enough to give him a proper burial. A month's time and with the days cooler, I was finally noticing a problem.

A major problem.

I had become rather vengeful. My skills parred up to the occasion, making short work of that trigger-happy Pyro. Ah sweet revenge was so nice, Scout must of been applauding my skills from wherever he was now. Soon, I was becoming quite the dominating Spy, that most of RED backed off. Oh how I loved toying with their Engineer, sapping his toys left and right while watching him squeal like a pig ready for slaughter. All in good time... all in good time. I no longer cared for blood on my suit, in fact it made interesting 'ink blot' images for me to decipher. It seemed in my zealous run, that I had conjured up some insanity... maybe. Whatever it was, it sure brought Medic out quite a few times to Ubercharge me a few times. Perhaps it was the delight in me smiling in a almost demonic glee when I took out that enemy sniper even with his razorback on? Snipers loved headshots.... well... so did I now. Oh his shocked expression while a river of his own color dripped down between his shaded eyes, oh what a sight I wish I had the pictures to show you!

As the ceasefire bell rung and allowed teams to collect their dead, I took my time coming out, Medic having gone ahead of me to heal survivors. As I strolled out, I noticed the stride in my legs felt... off. Almost in a drunken sort of way. Not that I was drinking with Demoman, heavens no! Maybe it was from constant running and lack of blood flow? Well I wasn't going to lie and say I hadn't evaded being unscathed during my time fighting here. Small cuts here and there, mostly from the hip down from pesky little sentry guns barely in their level one stage. They were a nuisance. Always were, always will be. Walking under the covered bridge back to base, I paused at the center divide, whipping out a cigarette. "Go on ahead, Doctor, I think I'll be enjoying my victory out here." Medic nodded, no reply from his lips cept for a slight smirk and devious looking expression to send chills down any weak willed person spine. Plus the break would be good to regain balance.

I glanced to RED's base, seeing what survivors there were glare death at me, to which I gave back a smirk, taking a nice drag on my lit cigarette. It was ceasefire... any attack after wards would end in uncertainty. "So... where's your broken birdie? Gone to flutter about with his new wings?" Came a familiar voice. Glancing up, I saw him... RED Spy. I sneered at him, before flicking my cigarette into the water below. "You'll pay dearly for what you've done. That was unforgivable." I growled. "Ah, that iz war." He returned, coolly as he approached. My body was tensed, ready to defend myself if needed though a undesirable sensation of heat coursed through my aching legs that I ignored the warning signs. "And in war... one has the right to defend himself!" I stated, as he kept coming. Then it happened. RED broke the rules and went to slash my chest. I backed away, drawing my own blade out in a whip-like fashion, and aimed for his throat. He was good, dodging my moves, the years being here had taught him well, but I was taught a few newer tricks that he was given long ago.

Small blades clashed and before long I could hear the shouts of RED cheering on their spy to gut me apart. Distracted by their jeers, a nasty slash mark it's way across one calf. I collapsed, crying out, oh if only Sniper wasn't in that hospital bed. Blood seeped through my leggings, staining it as well as my gloved hand. RED laughed as I knelt there cradling the injury. "Oh... did the BLU get a boo-boo? Let me make it all better for you!" He taunted, ready to plunge his knife deep into me. Reacting on sheer instinct, I snatched out for his boot, yanking him down to the ground. I managed to painfully get up, grabbing him by the back of his suit jacket to toss him over the edge. Though... that was exactly what was going through his mind as well.

The two of us fell over the side, crashing into the waters below. By sweet heavens the waters stung at my injuries. RED managed to swim for the surface, managed to grab a breath of air before I yanked him down under again. If this was the end, I would not die alone! We fought under the surface, hand to hand before he somehow kicked me in the face, using it to shoot for the surface. He rose, while his team were on the bridge trying to send a rope down for him to crawl back up. As for me... all I could do was scream in pain. The burning intensified from my open wounds and now a kick to the face caused me to inadvertently inhale the foul water. I tried to race for the surface for air, body screaming for it. But my kicks were growing slower and slower.

I don't remember much what happened then, but I suppose from the exposure of that filth and with my open cuts it was my slight... damper, not downfall before I could surface. It felt like I should give up, the seasoned spy still master over the younger. Maybe I should with RED on the bridge, likely armed and ready to shoot my head off. So, giving up, I released what air I had in my lungs. But life still wanted to cling to me so out of impulse, I inhaled that dark water and the most shocking thing happened; I could breathe. Opening my eyes I thought I was dreaming, testing out breathe after breathe. Indeed I could survive! This shocking realization was alas, just the gentle warm-up. Soon I doubled over, pain rippling down my back and legs. My eyes were slammed shut, refusing to see anything. But my hearing could not block out the painful ripping of cloth, nor could I get the taste of blood out of my mouth. It was madness, sheer madness! I had to take a look, but what I saw was black rising up towards me. It looked alot like... ink.

Then it was over as quickly as it started. I shuddered an aquatic breathe, running my tongue over my lips to get the taste of blood out when it dawned on me how sharp my teeth felt. Glancing back up, I could see that RED Spy still trying to climb out of the water. Well, I seriously doubt he could breathe under this water like I could now, whatever it was making it happen. Kicking upwards, I pursued my enemy, reaching out to drag his body back under to deliver a 'kiss' of death. But my arm was just short of reach as he was being pulled up... but something else grabbed him for me.

I watched in awe and shock as a blackish blue tentacle shot out and wrapped about one of his legs, pulling his screaming self down under. He thrashed about, unarmed.. but I was. In fact.. I had several! The tentacle was attached to me! In fact I had eight new appendages as each wrapped around him. Somehow this toxic water had... metamorphosed me into some sort of sea siren of sorts. What mad science was this!? His panicked face stared back at me, and for once I had the upper on him, to which... I was quite delighted. "So... Monsieur Red..." I spoke out, quite fascinated with my new self, grinning wickedly with my new row of razor sharp teeth at that expression of fear. "I do believe I am quite alright. It is you who seems to be in pain... Allow me to... help you." I grinned, approaching closer while one tentacle was caressing that shocked look. A memory well cherished! The last thing I heard from him was his garbled screams, bubbles rushing from his mouth.

RED soon discovered soon after how to use a fishing pole to hook a dead floating body from the water.

Time went by. The sewers became a nice abode if I do say so myself. The teams soon were back down there, fighting back and forth, now that the waters were flushed and pipes cleaned, though bodies still floated about now and then. Eventually a new BLU Spy took my place, after everyone assumed I must of drowned, oh quite the contrary. Only one seemed to know my existence was still amidst at the fort, that was of Sniper. Healed of his burns and wounds, he found his way down to BLU's side of the sewers at the docking area. I was there, leaned up against the pipe entrance, smoking a cigarette, cherry flavored thanks to the late RED Spy. I can tell Sniper wasn't expecting a eight armed, water dwelling siren to be waiting for him. Though after some explanations of my change of fate, he understood, even so much as to bring me little offerings of cigarette cartons now and then. Eventually, he managed to get in contact with the company for a transfer to a different BLU team area more to his likely, since he was left with nasty burns that hinder his combat, so stationary work was all he was best at now.

My secret was kept safe, I was hardly disturbed down in the sewer pipes. The day before Sniper left, he told me there were new rules applied to both teams, and the fights were more favorable now. A new scout had arrive and my what a spunky thing he was over that bridge. I had admire him more so than the last one. Unafraid and full of fire in his heart for the heat of battle. Best keep an eye on him BLU... he's a keeper. Much older and much better than the previous. I have a feeling our paths will cross some day. That would be nice... and fun.

Though my train of thought was interrupted when I heard the sounds of light footsteps. Scout? Down here in the pipes already? No... it's RED's scout. Oh what fun to be had! Thinks he can save some time by using this as a short cut does he? I could see his shadow coming before he did, brandishing his wooden baseball bat. A smug look on his face as he approaches, never once sees me beneath the surface. In fact that face still held it's hopeful look as a black tentacle snatched his left foot before it twisted in shock. Rising from the depths like a shadow of doom, I loomed over the helpless boy as he stared at me with his eyes wide as dinner plates. His mouth trapped in a silent scream as I brandished my smile and butterfly knife. Oh how nice it felt as I dragged him closer, eyes starring down at that frail jittery form. Now there will be a new reason why no one should go down into the sewers. "Just what the hell are you man!" He screamed before darkness would take him under.

"FYI.... I am the TentaSpy."

~Fin~

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**A/N: Eh, not bad for a first TF2 fic. Honestly I'm not good with 1st person fics. Aw well. Hope you enjoyed none the less. Remember never again to write a fanfic from 2 to 7 o' clock in the morning x_x**


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